Nov
30
two-3
If someone walks up to you with a gun pointed at you, what would you do? That depends on who the person is.
Thanks guys for celebrating my birthday on the 29th! And Rosemary, thank you for dinner on Friday. I really treasured the happy moments with you guys a lot!
So 23 years old. And mj, pops me the question. No, he’s not proposing to me. “So how? 23 liao!”
23. It’s getting bigger. And I’m still having moments without any thoughts in my brain. That is bad. I can’t control when to think when i need too. Or I say things without basis, because of some ego in me of refusing to acknowledge that I do not know a thing. And yet, made no effort to find it out. That’s rather dangerous. More complications will arise. Feelings hurt. Miscommunication. Brought up to be good because it’s supposed to be that way. No mistakes, no impurity. Good boy. Just for others, just for praises. Just to be good. So much pressure.
23. I’m still procrastinating on doing work. Refusing to say things that I wanna say. Too worried about what others will think about me. Afraid of hurting others, I cut down my blatant blabbering. Sometimes, I feel that I should be non-existent. Sometimes, I feel like the ruler of the world. Thriving in this quiet world.
23. The burnout period of JC days bad results streak is very much present till today. I gave up on getting good grades, always getting an average just to make it through. The flame died. That whole feeling of tiredness, like walking around the streets in a high viscous fluid. Sometimes, I wish I could just fall into a very deep slumber. Not waking up at all. Or at least a very very long time. Until that certain dearest voice wakes me up.
23. So what have you done lately in life? I have shot photos, travelled to Japan and followed a MM hardcore fan around. I need a list of LIFE ACHIEVEMENTS to aim. Gotta find something to remove the glue holding me back. And I NEED to do it.
Doing it alone…. is hard. Self-motivation is hard when there is no self.
Random. 23.
